The times do not encourage this part of ourselves.  Really listening so that others know we are letting them in is so hard when we are busy being fearful or angry or disappointed. We let our fears and anger and disappointments get in the way of something that can have lasting value, without compromising our own ideas.  We trade off making a useful impact on others for being righteously indignant, snarky.

Instead, despite the pull of indignation, we can and should ask why people think and feel the way they do, let them know we are really listening, NOT just waiting our turn to be opinionated.  We can and should send a clear signal that we may not agree with them, but we ARE really letting in what they have to say and why they are saying it.

A very seasoned negotiator once told me that the best way to get people to be open to your ideas is to offer them the experience of really acknowledging their ideas. I find it hard to do, but like a lot of other hard goals, it's worth pursuing.